Your friends are your chosen family, brought together by shared experiences that create an unbreakable bond. In moments of laughter and joy, you nurture each other’s souls. However, when a friend faces challenges – whether a breakup, loss, or emotional struggles – offering support without being intrusive can be tricky. Navigating this delicate situation requires balancing the desire to give them space with the instinct to help. If you’re unsure how to offer support effectively, you are at the right place.
Supporting a Friend in Need: 6 Helpful Tips
Understanding how best to help can be challenging. Feeling torn between giving your friend space and offering assistance is common, especially during difficult times. The fear of intruding or causing more upset might lead you to step back. If you’re unsure of the most supportive approach, here are some helpful tips:
Tip 1 – Practise Active Listening
Instead of rushing to offer advice or positivity, prioritise truly understanding your friend’s words. Listen attentively without planning your response. This fosters genuine connection and shows you’re present for them.
Tip 2 – Acknowledge Their Emotions
Remember, it’s their experience, not yours. Avoid comparing their situation to yours or downplaying their feelings. Refrain from phrases like “Look on the bright side” or “It will seem better after a good night’s sleep,” as it may dismiss their emotions. Instead, recognise their struggle and express understanding by saying something like, “Yes, that sounds really hard.”
Tip 3 – Encourage Open Communication
Provide a safe space for your friend to express themselves by asking open-ended questions like “Can you tell me more about how you’re feeling?” Opt for voice communication over text or email, as studies show phone calls foster stronger connections. Even with strangers, people felt significantly more connected when communicating over the phone.
Tip 4 – Offer Small Acts of Assistance
Inquire if they need anything from the shops or if you can help with errands or childcare. Discover ways to make their life a bit easier, as these small gestures can accumulate and become meaningful. Additionally, offer to help them access professional support if needed.
Tip 5 – Stay Connected
While your friend is going through a tough time, it’s crucial not to take control of their decisions. Extend invitations for activities they enjoy, allowing them to decide whether to join or not. Even if they decline frequently, this approach emphasises that you still value their company and respect their autonomy.
Tip 6 – Offer Genuine Encouragement
You don’t have to deliver a grand speech filled with profound wisdom. In fact, simplicity is often more comforting during tough times. A sincere “I’m so sorry you’re going through this” can be powerful enough. If you’re inclined to share specific scripture, go ahead, but avoid preaching or minimising their pain. Another effective way to encourage them is by expressing how they’ve impacted or inspired you.
When and How to Offer Professional Help
Therapy is often misunderstood as being reserved for serious conditions, a luxury for the affluent, or a sign of weakness. However, mental health professionals are equipped to address diverse issues, from stress and anxiety to grief, trauma, and addiction. They come from diverse backgrounds, and many are attuned to factors like race, age, gender identity, and sexual orientation. Seeking professional help is a sign of strength, just like seeking help in other aspects of life. It’s important to remember that everyone experiences challenges differently, and there’s no shame in seeking support when needed.
How to Encourage Your Friend to Seek Help:
- Emphasise that seeking mental health support is a sign of strength, much like seeking help in other aspects of life, like visiting a doctor or hiring a coach.
- Share your own positive experience in seeking support to inspire them.
- Remind them that trying therapy is a process, and they can change therapists or approaches if needed.
- Encourage them to view the first therapy session as an interview to assert their choices.
- Offer assistance in finding a therapist and making an appointment, acknowledging that the task might feel overwhelming when they’re distressed.
Accessible Mental Health Services in South Africa
South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG):
- A Non-Profit Organisation with an 18a tax exemption.
- Comprising a board of Patients, Psychiatrists, Psychologists, and General Practitioners.
- Established two decades ago as a vital support network for South Africans facing mental health challenges.
Adcock Ingram Depression and Anxiety Helpline:
- Sponsored by the prominent South African pharmaceutical manufacturer, offering immediate assistance for anxiety and other mental health issues.
- Contact number: (0800) 70 80 90
Lifeline South Africa:
- A 24-hour crisis intervention service providing “Emotional First Aid” assistance.
- Contact Number: (0861) 322 322
Befrienders Bloemfontein:
- A free and confidential service for those feeling anxious, confused, hurt, or depressed, providing support without the need for identification.
- Contact number: (0027) 51 444 5000
NPOwer:
- A groundbreaking NPO Mental Health Support Programme & 24-hour toll-free Helpline.
- Offering free Mental Health Care & Support to all NPO’s, NGOs, and NPCs in South Africa.
- Contact number: 0800 515 515
Nurturing Friendship: Empathy in Action
True friendship shines through in challenging times, and providing genuine support requires a delicate balance between giving space and offering a helping hand. Through active listening, acknowledging emotions, and encouraging open dialogue, we foster connection. Small acts of assistance, staying connected, and offering genuine encouragement contribute to a supportive environment. Dispelling misconceptions about therapy is crucial, and the diverse mental health services in South Africa emphasise that seeking support is a sign of strength. Sharing these insights helps cultivate a culture of compassion and understanding, reinforcing bonds of friendship during tough times.
Disclaimer: We are not medical professionals, and this blog post is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health challenges, please seek help from a qualified professional.
